I'm currently in an internet cafe in Nagoya while waiting to meet up with my friend. My nightbus dropped me off around 6 so, I'm a bit sleepy. Whenever I'm in a sleepy mood though, my mind wanders.

I've been thinking -- I need to get away from KJ8 before I become too addicted. I have an obsessive personality and my obessions seem to go in circles: dieting -> drinking -> binging -> working -> idols -> dieting... It's a neverending vicious cyle. Near the end of each addiction phase though, I go through horrible withdrawal... Not. Good. I don't want to see what will happen if I move away from KJ8 after I've become totally emersed... if it's not too late already. I should put my energy into something tangible. Something real. But is the reason why I do this because I know I'll be disappointed in the inevitable end so I'm at least prepared? Don't get your hopes too high because it's bound to get sour? Since it's expected, it's not so bad?

I don't know. I'm tired.

~* June 04, 2006 @ 11:45 am *~